The Wake Up
I don't remember everything about waking up (surprise, surprise).
I remember being terrified of being on the ventilator. I somehow knew I was on it when I was waking up. I thought I was in a different room than before the surgery. I found out later that I was not. When I was 'waking up', I remember feeling like the tube down my throat was choking me and I thought I was going to die. If you know me, you know I have a fear of choking anyways. I remember having each member of my family come into the room and I tried to express to them that I was afraid it was going to kill me. At least all of the women in my family know basic alphabet sign language (I don't know about my dad). But, I remember trying to sign language to my oldest sister, but she didn't pick up on it and left the room. My dad came in and I remember trying to sign to him. My hands felt SO heavy and I thought it was just from the surgery drugs...I later found out that they weren't heavy, they were tied down. LOL. Anyways, my middle sister came in b/c the nurse had said something about me needing to wake up. She was confident she could make that happen. I was confident she would understand my ASL. She didn't. She just raised my blood pressure and had to leave. LOL. My Dad grabbed my hand when I was trying to sign to him, patted the top of it and walked away. LOL. My mom gave me a phone to try and text to her what I wanted to say....but my eyes were closed. LOL. She then handed me a notepad and paper and I managed to write, "Is this tube killing me?" or something of that nature. Shortly after that (I think), they removed the tube and I "woke up".
I remember being terrified of being on the ventilator. I somehow knew I was on it when I was waking up. I thought I was in a different room than before the surgery. I found out later that I was not. When I was 'waking up', I remember feeling like the tube down my throat was choking me and I thought I was going to die. If you know me, you know I have a fear of choking anyways. I remember having each member of my family come into the room and I tried to express to them that I was afraid it was going to kill me. At least all of the women in my family know basic alphabet sign language (I don't know about my dad). But, I remember trying to sign language to my oldest sister, but she didn't pick up on it and left the room. My dad came in and I remember trying to sign to him. My hands felt SO heavy and I thought it was just from the surgery drugs...I later found out that they weren't heavy, they were tied down. LOL. Anyways, my middle sister came in b/c the nurse had said something about me needing to wake up. She was confident she could make that happen. I was confident she would understand my ASL. She didn't. She just raised my blood pressure and had to leave. LOL. My Dad grabbed my hand when I was trying to sign to him, patted the top of it and walked away. LOL. My mom gave me a phone to try and text to her what I wanted to say....but my eyes were closed. LOL. She then handed me a notepad and paper and I managed to write, "Is this tube killing me?" or something of that nature. Shortly after that (I think), they removed the tube and I "woke up".
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